I'm wondering

I'm mostly into one-line stuff; I can come up with some clever quips.  But what I wish is that I could just sit down when I'm not so instantly inspired, and put together a decent flow of text.

Sometimes you just have to flow, keep moving, respond, react, enact...I'm impulsive, but not productively refined.  I'm trying to get over shyness that's crippled me socially and professionally throughout my life.  I try desperately to mix and mingle, off-balance, off base, sometimes in bad form, sometimes realizing afterwards how badly I behaved.  

I like people a lot, mostly, I really do.  Sometimes that shows, and I feel like smiley, shining, outgoing person for others to enjoy.  Then I fall into opposite rut.  I'd love to change my life, but haven't enough strenght or confidence to pull it off.

I reach out to people hoping they can help me, but realizing I've got to do it myself.  All my friends are online, really.  And there's too much distance to get the kind of strenght you need from friend to get over something hard.  

Anyway, end of rambling today.  Off to work!  Ta Ta!